Who spends more time on their hair?

Kristen: “Rob.”

Rob: “I have weird personal-space issues, and so I can’t stand people — um, I’ll do anything to not have any touch-ups.”

Competitive?

Kristen: “Rob. In a very childish way, in every aspect of his life. He’ll literally start talking in a different voice if he’s won something. He sounds like a five-year-old.”

Rob: “I’d say it was even. She said me? Really? When I really win things, it’s just like…” [Kristen is correct: He makes a noise like a five-year-old.]

Athletic?

Kristen: “I’m definitely claiming that one. Rob can barely jump rope. I call him Flippy because when he does his stunt rehearsals, he flips around [makes a gesture like a penguin]. And, God, when he tries to run …”

Rob: “Kristen. You notice it in the film; she looks so much more athletic than I do. And I’m supposed to be the superhero.”

Egotistical?

Kristen: “I’d have to say him. I hope he says him too actually. Like every time he looks in the mirror and he twists his hair. Actually, he could give a fuck about his hair. I hope that sarcasm translates.”

Rob: “It’s kind of a tie. We’re both pretty proud people. Her ego is more solid than mine, but mine has soared to such peaks, it’s ridiculous. Mine’s more erratic, but it can get to a point when it’s, like, godlike. Only in my eyes, of course. Sometimes just when I say hello the right way, I’m like, Whoa, I’m so cool.”

Who Googles themselves more?

Kristen: “Rob.”

Rob: “She would say me, but I reckon it’s her. If either one of us catches the other one doing it, we’re like, Jesus Christ, is that what you’re looking at? And the other one’s on their phone pretending to text. I look up my competition more than she does. I’m incredibly shallow. I think she just looks at herself.”

Who’s the better musician?

Kristen: “Rob. He’s a great singer. Heartbreaking.”

The most outgoing?

Rob: “I was once, but not so much anymore. Kristen’s a little more open now.”

Better sport?

Kristen: “Who can hang? Definitely me. He’s very sensitive. He’s got a fragile ego.”

Superstitious?

Kristen: “Rob. He’s a little bit more paranoid, so that feeds into superstition more.”

Rob: “I am. I believe a lot in karma and stuff. Like when I end up with egg on my face, I’m like, Fate! I was born doomed. But I think it’s more being an idiot than superstitious.”

But perhaps it pays to be a little paranoid. Whatever it takes for Rob and Kristen to live their hothouse lives as normally as they can — until the November 20 opening of New Moon, anyway. In the interim, CNN will report whenever Rob gets a haircut (it already has), and girls will get mad at Kristen for not wearing pink tube tops and taking their dream man away. They both fantasize about what they would do if nobody could see them. “I’d like to say something noble,” Rob says, fiddling with his hair, “but I’d probably spy on people to hear what they think of me — and then hate them for it afterward.” Kristen is, as ever, a little blunter: “I’d go for a walk.”


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